First Flight

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>Imitate Birds</FONT></P><BR>
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8 R" n  k! c  |4 |<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">A man tried to get a job in a stage show. \"What can you do?\" asked the producer. </FONT>
3 u  [0 g) q0 W* {% ^<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Imitate birds,\" the man said. </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Are you kidding?\" answered the producer, \"eople like that are a dime a dozen.\" </FONT>
( O! P/ `0 G& F: c: y<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Well, I guess that\'s that.\" said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window. </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>模仿鸟儿</P><BR>
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( D/ s& l9 K+ E+ Y& }<>　　一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。
1 t2 G% t5 d2 \( q<>　　“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。
4 o2 _1 w: u2 p1 E<>　　“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”
* t+ X# [; ^: K) ]) r<>　　“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。</P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>How Did You Ever Get Here</FONT></P><BR>
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% m* x+ g0 I4 _. i<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. \"It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.\" </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">The boss eyed him suspiciously. \"Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?\" </FONT>
7 @  a" b/ K7 _! c! z+ V<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I finally gave up,\" he said, \"and started for home.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>你是怎样来的？</P><BR>
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<>　　一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
<>　　老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
# b/ A$ k7 x! I1 w- O% b<>　　“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。” </P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>Three Surgeons</FONT></P><BR>
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# D: y: C  w  X* m2 _, ~1 E9 ?<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. \"A man came to me who had his hand cut off,\" said one. \"Today that man is a concert violinist.\" </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"That\'s nothing,\" said another. \"A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.\" </FONT>
1 o4 f; q& Z  \<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I can top both of you,\" said the third. \"One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse\'s posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>三个外科医生</P><BR>
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<>　　三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”
; i" j/ J) l$ b" ~<>　　“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”
' ~! `, w4 H! [+ J: |1 ?9 v" ^<>　　“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”</P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>One Side of the Case</FONT></P><BR>
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<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand. </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I can\'t hear out of my left ear,\" the man told the judge. </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Can you hear out of your right ear?\" the judge asked. The man nodded his head. </FONT>
3 C5 m9 N5 e+ z6 x! [! ?6 u<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"You\'ll be allowed to serve on the jury,\" the judge declared. \"We only listen to one side of the case at a time.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>一面之辞</P><BR>
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<>　　一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。
<>　　“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。
<>　　“你的右边耳朵听得见吗？”法官问道。那人点了点头。
  x* C% Z  D% d& t<>　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。” </P></TD></TR></TABLE>