First Flight

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>Imitate Birds</FONT></P><BR>
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+ `( O/ M4 q# a<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">A man tried to get a job in a stage show. \"What can you do?\" asked the producer. </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Imitate birds,\" the man said. </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Are you kidding?\" answered the producer, \"eople like that are a dime a dozen.\" </FONT>
6 a0 O4 l' h3 C3 B/ B/ R+ u<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Well, I guess that\'s that.\" said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window. </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>模仿鸟儿</P><BR>
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0 X9 B( g! J5 C2 p* m; i; h" _) I<>　　一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。
  E% b/ m- R- Z) E- y<>　　“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。
  X( m9 u' S: `7 T8 H; k& u; C2 Y- v<>　　“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”
<>　　“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。</P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>How Did You Ever Get Here</FONT></P><BR>
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3 V; M" r$ P0 t1 T. N<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. \"It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.\" </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">The boss eyed him suspiciously. \"Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?\" </FONT>
1 c. R: j3 e7 H) p+ D) M<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I finally gave up,\" he said, \"and started for home.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>你是怎样来的？</P><BR>
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( c8 `+ W) V1 a6 I" r; f8 S* p( M4 L<>　　一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
6 `; N. i0 g. V& T<>　　老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
7 a. a% v/ s$ J1 e# q/ n) P<>　　“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。” </P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>Three Surgeons</FONT></P><BR>
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<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. \"A man came to me who had his hand cut off,\" said one. \"Today that man is a concert violinist.\" </FONT>
8 ~$ a2 Q' X9 B& H4 S6 N4 G<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"That\'s nothing,\" said another. \"A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.\" </FONT>
<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I can top both of you,\" said the third. \"One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse\'s posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>三个外科医生</P><BR>
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8 d$ F" @) Y3 C  ?<>　　三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”
: h1 v7 o$ ~6 V& C% M1 d<>　　“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”
<>　　“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”</P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\" size=+1>One Side of the Case</FONT></P><BR>
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( V0 C# P  D' G0 @/ }; }6 u- I<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand. </FONT>
' w* @1 e& n8 S<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"I can\'t hear out of my left ear,\" the man told the judge. </FONT>
$ }6 \* \% z0 Z! G; U  _<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"Can you hear out of your right ear?\" the judge asked. The man nodded his head. </FONT>
0 S/ o/ ~$ W8 D0 M! g<><FONT face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">\"You\'ll be allowed to serve on the jury,\" the judge declared. \"We only listen to one side of the case at a time.\" </FONT></P></TD></TR></TABLE>

< align=center>一面之辞</P><BR>
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<>　　一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。
. U0 r, g/ R6 r" z: c1 Q+ M6 j<>　　“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。
, Z1 N9 Z( g# W3 D: W, J& D! H<>　　“你的右边耳朵听得见吗？”法官问道。那人点了点头。
<>　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。” </P></TD></TR></TABLE>